The New and Changing Sarah

My bike

2010-08-16T11:58:00.000+10:00

My bike is awesome. I like it excessively. I rode 10.8km yesterday and then I got a basket so I can carry a baguette should I ever want to. Go bike!

Totally on the wagon, have the reigns and am being very nice to the mule

2010-07-05T11:34:00.000+10:00

This week has been an awesome week! The beloved man returned from a month away on the 25th June so I've had him all to myself for a whole week! Alas he goes away again on Wednesday but I shall survive. I have eaten pretty well, and managed to make up for the dinner at the Italian restaurant that I took the man to for his birthday.

I lost 1.4kg this week which brings me back to 108.9kg which is still higher than I was, but I am totally back on track!

I rode Bert the bike 16km this weekend, and unlike last Monday when my butt was a miasma of pain I can barely notice this week! Yay! I also rode most of the way to the office I'll be moving to in a couple of months (had to turn around as the boy was running and started to get tired), so I know for certain that when we do move I can ride to work without drama - all that extra exercise, how awesome!

I have a salad for lunch today which excites me greatly as it has fetta & rocket & baby spinach & boiled egg & cherry tomatoes, and I also have a home-made 4.5 point chicken pie which will be most tasty. Go healthy me!

Ooh, almost forgot, I went to my first personal training session at Fernwood this morning which was pretty good. I think I may change my membership to include the training sessions as the PT pushes me a lot harder than I push myself.

Take care fellow weight watchers!

Bert

2010-06-28T12:26:00.000+10:00

This is Bert, my new bike. Sorry for the blurry photo, I was shaking with excitement and only using my iphone.

I've been off-air for a while

2010-06-28T12:25:00.001+10:00

I've also been off track.

But, in exciting news I bought a bike yesterday and I love it! I have named it Bert and I went for a ride yesterday afternoon with some friends and now my butt hurts, but it is good hurt!

Stay tuned for more exciting or not-so-exciting updates from me.

Wearing the Skirt

2010-05-21T09:57:00.000+10:00

I bought this skirt over a year ago in the hopes that I would fit into it very soon. Well, very soon is finally here!

I know it isn't a good photo but I was so excited I had to share!

Weigh In

2010-05-19T08:47:00.000+10:00

Forgot to post on Monday - 700g loss this week! This takes me down to 107.5kg, which is a mere 100g heavier than the lowest weight I got to last year before I lost the plot and started eating jam doughnuts again. 100g!!!

I'm off to visit some friends in Townsville at the end of July, and I've set myself the challenge of being under 100kg before I go. Good luck to me!

Measurements

2010-05-13T11:57:00.000+10:00

I woke up this morning with an awful sinus headache - I get them fairly regularly which is very annoying! So, while I was sitting at home feeling sorry for myself and wishing the pain away, I thought I'd take my measurements since I haven't done that in a while...

Results:

Neck - 35.5cm (-1.5)
Upper Arm - 41cm (-0.5)
Chest - 119cm (-7)
Waist - 108.5cm (-4.5)
Hips - 132.5cm (-5)
Upper Leg - 73.5cm (-1)
Calf - 43.5cm (0)

So, that brings me to a total of 553.5cm, and I've lost 19.5cm! Wohoo!

Weigh in Day

2010-05-10T06:57:00.001+10:00

Alas, I stepped on the scales (bleary eyed as my boyfriend wanted to know how I'd done before he left for work (at 5.45am!). And sadly I am the same as I was last week.

This is okay, I had a big loss last week, and this will give me the drive to try even harder this week!

Mothers Day Classic - 8km

2010-05-09T11:51:00.001+10:00

My friend Esther and I just completed the 8km walk for the Mothers Day Classic which raises money for Breast Cancer Research. Next year, I'm totally running!

10kg Goal Smashed!

2010-05-04T10:39:00.001+10:00

I have smashed that 10kg lost! In fact, I'm now at 10.8kg lost! Wohoo! I'm feeling pretty proud of myself I must say. Go me!

My reward to myself for this awesome milestone was a set of headphones that will not fall out of my ears when walking / running / ellipticalling... That's what the picture is. I got them in the mail last week, then put them aside until I reached 10kg. I wore them on the walk to work this morning and was most pleased with myself the whole way! Sennheiser PX200 II is the brand and they fold up like sunglasses. This makes me excited. Very excited.

Yesterday, to celebrate my 10kg milestone, I did a Step class - which is swear is designed to nearly kill me. It is great though, I feel it afterwards! Alas my gym doesn't have this class on at a time when I can normally go (yesterday was Labour Day up here in QLD so I got the day off to do such exciting things as go to the step class at my gym). This class is so worth the effort though that I'm thinking of sorting something out so I can leave work a little early once a fortnight and get to the 5.30pm class on a Tuesday...

Photos - 9.4kg down

2010-04-28T21:17:00.004+10:00

So, I'm jumping the gun a little but here are photos from this morning, 9.4kg lighter than when I started. My photographer was my darling boyfriend - credit where credit is due!

Day 117 of 2010

2010-04-27T12:18:00.002+10:00

Good afternoon people of the internet. Mostly people. Some robots. Good afternoon to you too robots of the internet!

I'm in a pretty good mood today because I lost 800g at my weigh in yesterday morning! Wohoo! So I am down to 109.6kg. I am 400g higher than the lowest I've been this year (109.2kg on the 29th March), and 2.2kg higher than the lowest I've made it to on this now long journey (107.4kg on 9th March 2009).

I went to a Body Step class yesterday morning and it was awesome. I was completely exhausted about 15 minutes into it, but managed to keep going to the end. There is another one next Monday (another public holiday for us Queenslanders) so I'll go to that one and see if I can improve! Unfortunately there isn't a Body Step class at a time I can regularly attend so I won't be making this part of my routine. I'm sticking with the Body Pump class though, I love it!

I am going to put photos up this week, I just need to take some. I will endeavour to take some tonight!

Have an awesome Tuesday everyone!

Attack Cow

2010-04-20T09:15:00.000+10:00

http://oddlyspecific.com/2010/04/16/funny-signs-any-udder-warnings/

I think I need to become an attack cow. Or at least have one to attack the bad foods when they come near me... I'll name her Tinkerbell.

After several weeks of off-the-rails crazy I am back on the wagon this week. I really need to remember the benefits and get my headspace right again. I'm sicking of weight-loss failures. I'm reading for some weight-loss wins!

Consequences

2010-04-14T10:09:00.001+10:00

I read a blog today that talked about consequences. And it led me to think about the consequences of me not following through and losing weight. So, here are some of the consequences I would face:

heart disease at a young age. I am 28 now, I don't want to have a heart attack at 40.
sleep apnea. I already have this, and it will not go away until I lose weight - in fact it will just get worse, to the point where I will not be able to sleep without a machine pushing air through my nose at night.
diabetes. how much longer can I keep serious illness such as diabetes at bay? My boyfriend's brother has diabetes (childhood, not weight related) and it has a huge impact on his life. I don't want that, not when I can avoid it by simply losing weight.
if I am this weight when I have children, I won't be able to play with them the way I want to, and even worse, I may not be around to watch them grow up.

There are more, a lot more. I sometimes wonder if food is a bit like a drug addiction for me. When I fall off the wagon, I really fall. I eat more than I ate before, and worse. I repress the part of my brain that is objecting to this behaviour. I don't really understand how addiction works, but it really is all-encompassing when that is all you can think about.

I need to be negative sometimes, focus on the negatives of failure rather than the positives of success. I need that fear to motivate me as well as the expected joy of the future. It may not work for everyone, but this works for me.

I'm going to post photos next week, I probably won't have lost 10kg yet (after the excesses of the last couple of weeks) but I want to post more, it is about time!

Sarah

Wednesday, 14th April 2010

2010-04-14T09:56:00.001+10:00

Today is my 10,349th day alive. I am 122 days out from my 28th birthday, and 243 days away from my 29th. I am also 500 days away from my wedding (that date is a bit rough but it will be around then).

Just giving myself some perspective here! Last night I went shopping and bought enough food to last me all week. I have a meal plan for the week. This morning I went to the gym and then at work I had my favourite breakfast (toast with avocado, cottage cheese, ham & tomato). I feel pretty awesome. I want to remember this awesome feeling and keep that up for the rest of this week.

I am aiming to stick to my plan every day this week, I want to drink 2L of water a day, and I want to go to the gym at least 3 times (2 to go minimum!).

That is my goal for this week.

Why am I doing this?

2010-04-13T12:02:00.000+10:00

http://blackandwtf.tumblr.com/post/515516679

Weekend before last I went to Cairns with my partner to attend his sister's wedding. I decided to not be too fastidious in pursuit of my weight loss whilst there. Turns out that was a very poor decision to have made.

I don't know why I go off the rails, what little switch turns off in my head that causes me to suppress my desire to lose weight (and it is a very strong desire - because I desire to gain the self-confidence and self-love that I know is being held back by the weight) and ignore my inner-brain guide to doing well and eat ice cream, pizza, biscuits etc etc etc...

Needless to say I've not had the best fortnight. I am too scared to hop on the scales and view the damage. I'll leave that for next Monday I think.

I'm writing a meal plan right now - planning is the absolute best way for me to stick to weight watchers. Plan plan plan! Fight my way through the cravings I'll have this week and focus on what I want.

700g Aww Yeah!

2010-03-29T10:00:00.001+10:00

So I didn't reach my goal of getting to the 10kg mark this week, but 700g is still pretty awesome! I was better this week than the previous week but my big letdown still seems to be the weekend. I need to do something about that... plan better maybe? Not sure. Sleepy this morning and don't feel like thinking about it.

I will be away next Monday morning so I am going to leave my next weigh in until the 12th April. That gives me two weeks to smash that 10kg and make some progress towards 10%! Unfortunately we are going to Cairns for a wedding so I need to be very in control - I have volunteered to be the designated driver which will help.

Fingers crossed, healthy pumped, let's go!

100g & 1 point

2010-03-22T16:49:00.001+10:00

I lost 100g this week, which puts me at 109.9kg! This is exciting because I am under 110kg AND I go down to 23 points per day. Now I am a mere 900g off 10kg lost and I am going to set myself a mega-challenge to lose that 900g this week.

Monday is Good

2010-03-15T13:00:00.001+10:00

These last two weeks have not been my best. I was better this week than the previous week but I wasn't really tracking, and I was making poor choices. I also only went to the gym twice which is a second week in a row that I've failed to make my minimum sessions!

A fresh week, a fresh start. I've started by doing the things that I know work for me. I have planned a weeks worth of meals for me and my partner, and this morning I went to the grocery store and bought the foods I like for breakfast at work. I feel good and I'm going to the gym tonight.

I forgot to step on the scales before I jumped in the shower this morning, but hopped on afterwards with wet hair. I was stunned! I have somehow managed to lose 300g in the last two weeks of awful. That puts me at 110kg. 9kg lost! I wouldn't be surprised if my fortnight of bad eating catches up with me and I gain or stay the same at next weigh in, but I'm so close to getting back to 10kg lost, and then I'm full speed ahead to 10%! 10% will be my next star on the chart from weight watchers as I have previously made it to 10kg down.

Poor Loz is sick today, get well soon Loz!

2010-03-12T11:43:00.001+10:00

via: http://blackandwtf.tumblr.com/post/441783592/via-becky

McDonalds

2010-03-09T13:25:00.001+10:00

So, what do we think of Weight Watchers and McDonalds teaming up?

Personally, I have to agree with option number 2 in the following article: http://www.crikey.com.au/?p=121514

I think it is good for McDonalds because having WW onboard will get more people through the doors, of course they'll feel like they're eating well because of the WW endorsement, then they'll buy the same old awful fatty food.

It could be useful for people who use WW to know what the points values are of the foods they want if they have to go to McDonalds in a pinch.

To be honest, I think that WW is being painfully capitalist and putting the health of the nation second here. I am pretty disappointed in this decision.

Bad Week

2010-03-09T10:31:00.001+10:00

Last week on Tuesday morning I dropped my beloved man at the airport to fly off to some mine in the middle of nowhere for two weeks for work. All was going fine that day still. Then I ate my lunch. About 30 minutes later I started feeling unwell, it just got worse and worse, so I went home. And then my vegetarian week went to hell. I tried to get back on track, and then it went to hell again. So I gave up. Unfortunately I also gave up on counting points, or even trying to make good choices, until Sunday became my worst binge eating day since I restarted this journey at the beginning of January. I chose to not weigh in on Monday morning because I knew it wouldn't be pretty and I wanted to start my week on a positive not a negative. Unfortunately I also woke up with a headache, which quickly got worse, then much, much, much worse (I haven't had a migraine since I was a teenager but this sure came close). I'm pretty bad at controlling intake when I'm not feeling 100%. I totally ate badly yesterday as well.

Today I am back at work. I have what I am describing as a "headache hangover". I have a headache still, not as bad, and I feel fuzzy and out of it today. But, I've remembered why I am on this journey this morning, and am tracking again today. I have had toast with jam for breakfast and a skinny flat white (without sugar - I have finally found a coffee shop that makes coffee so well that I have no need of the sugar! and it is right downstairs from my office!). So that's 3.5 points for the toast and 1.5 points for the coffee. 5/24 thus far.

This evening I think I will make a pie with filo pastry and take it over to my little brother's house for dinner - his girlfriend decided to call it quits on their relationship this morning and I want to go and cheer him up!

Now, I just want this headache to go away... and my darling man to come home... he was going to come home on Friday this week but then his parents asked if he wanted to go and stay with them for a couple of days (he has to go home via Townsville on the way back from the mine) and so I told him he totally should go and hang out with his parents (they are truly awesome and I dragged him down to Brisbane with me and away from their awesomeness so he should definitely to see them). So I won't have my back-up conscience back until next week so am going to have to rely on myself this week. Go me!

Sneaky Copycat Take 2

2010-03-05T08:49:00.001+10:00

As Fiona kindly pointed out the picture didn't show up in my last sneaky post! Sorry... I can't edit my blog from work, but I can add new posts (it's an email thing...) so here is my second attempt to post that graph!

Vegetarian Week

2010-03-03T11:42:00.001+10:00

I decided to make this week vegetarian week, as I have a lot of vegetarian recipes but they never seem to get made! I have an exciting list of meals planned:

Day 1: Coconut Jasmine rice with green onions & cilantro (which I assume is corriander)
Day 2: Eggplant Moussaka
Day 3: Marinated Tofu Kebabs
Day 4: Mediterranean Feta Pizza
Day 5: Crepes with Sauteed Mushrooms
Day 6: Cheese & Spinach Quiche

All was going well... until yesterday I got terrible stomach pains after lunch and ended up going home. When I got home I got hungry. I started craving a greasy fat dripping grossness of a McDonald's burger. Instead I settled for what I could grab from the freezer which happened to be a chicken and vegetable pie. Ugh. Yeah. So last week I commented on Fiona's post regarding what causes you to go off track and said that for me it is the fatal combination of tiredness, hunger & laziness. I guess I can also add sick / feeling sorry for myself to that list...

Anyway, tonight I am going to have the coconut jasmine rice and move forward and leave behind my disaster that was yesterday. Wohoo!

Sneaky copycat I am

2010-03-03T11:27:00.001+10:00

I'm copying my friend Loz here, with my entire visual weight history with WW:

A loss, a loss, a loss!

2010-03-01T09:30:00.001+10:00

I lost 500g this week, which takes me to a total loss of 8.7kg. I am happy happy happy!

I feel pretty

2010-02-26T15:41:00.001+10:00

Today I feel pretty. I feel good and pretty and happy. This is a good thing. I just wanted to share a bit of happiness with the blogging world!

A good loss! At last!

2010-02-22T09:24:00.001+10:00

After a 600g gain followed by a 200g loss I have had a good loss this week of 1.5kg! I am now at a total loss of 8.2kg and am very excited about reaching 10kg!

I'm thinking that for 10kg loss I might treat me and my darling and wonderfully supportive boyfriend to a trip to the gold class cinemas - I really want my rewards to not be food related you see. I am treating myself to a replacement iced tea jug once I'm under 10kg (I may have accidentally broken the last one with an ill-thought out leaving in the freezer...), which although food related is not too bad.

I have instigated a mid-week ban on the scales. I am only allowed to step on those scales once a week and that is Monday morning only. I had a bad habit of weighing myself daily which was really just resulting in misery for me. I am enjoying this once a week system as it seems to be helping to keep my attitude positive which is great!

Also, once I get to 10kg lost I will post more photos to show my losses to date...

Yay!

2010-02-19T08:21:00.001+10:00

I just tightened my belt another hole! I'm down from the third from
the end to the fifth from the end!

Minor victories...

Bung knee

2010-02-17T08:41:00.001+10:00

On Monday I took a step and my right knee objected wholeheartedly. I
have overworked my leg muscles and now need to stay off my knee until
they recover. The physio has said I can do upper body weights and
swimming (but no kicking!). I will not let this derail my weight loss!
Went to the gym this morning and everything!

Crap

2010-02-16T06:41:00.000+10:00

Something is wrong with my right knee. I am in pain! I cancelled going
to the gym this morning because I can barely walk! I am going to try
to see a physio today. I hope I am not out of action for too long, I
really like going to the gym!!

A small loss

2010-02-15T05:56:00.001+10:00

So only a 200g loss today. I am trying not to be disheartened but it
is difficult. I know that I haven't been as awesome as usual this week
so I know what I need to do.

Slacker

2010-02-09T16:02:00.001+10:00

So, I may have accidentally possibly slept in a bit this morning and caused me and Loz to miss our Body Jam class... I felt more than just a little guilty. We went to the gym anyway and did weights. Tomorrow we have a Circuit class, Loz is going to ride over to my place to make sure I am actually up!

Fingers crossed...

My friend Loz!

2010-02-08T17:01:00.001+10:00

My friend Loz is awesome and is the best weight loss buddy ever - she is supportive and helpful and celebrates my wins and commiserates when I suffer. In essence, she rocks.

Thanks for being so awesome Loz! And go you on 1.1kg lost this week! Wohoo!

Weigh In

2010-02-08T12:52:00.001+10:00

So I gained 600g this week. I am holding it together right now simply because I know that I didn't over-eat or do anything to cause a gain. I did join a gym and do more exercise than usual and I had big losses for the last few weeks, so I think my body is just catching up. I'm okay with this. I hope.

100 Day Challenge: Week 4

2010-02-03T08:32:00.001+10:00

Clearly I failed to take a lot of photos this week...

Day 22: my friend Loz and I went to the shops today (I totally planned ahead and had the day off!) and Loz was hungry so we decided to go to fasta pasta. I had just eaten an hour and a half before so just had a coffee (very proud of myself for resisting!). Loz chose what she thought was the healthiest option on the menu and had spaghetti bolognese entree size. Later on after being passed from person to person she managed to find out that it was 12.5 points just for the entree size! Eek! Very glad I didn't eat there as I wasn't hungry. Actually, I did have a slice of bread (they brought to the table) without butter and I stole some of the sauce from Loz' plate. I counted the points too! Go me!
Day 23: Australia Day! I went to two different barbeques today, to protect myself from overindulging I drove! Yay!
Day 24: The day after Australia Day... we went running to burn off all the nuts and other goodies eaten on Australia Day!
Day 25: I went to my friend's place for dinner, I forgot to take a picture of the meal but it was awesome and low points and she didn't even know I'm on weight watchers - how awesome is a friend like that? So, this is a picture of vegetables because that is mainly what dinner was and it was good.
Day 26: Was raining this morning so we didn't get to go for our run, but I felt pretty so I wore a dress to work which I definitely don't normally do. This is me in my dress!
Day 27: Bushwalking day today, this is us on the trail. it was only a short bushwalk but it was fun!
Day 28: I spent most of today sleeping and then treated myself to breakfast - I resisted the bacon. It isn't much but it is something!

Late night incident...

2010-01-26T23:01:00.001+10:00

I'm lying in bed unable to sleep so earlier I got up. I was
ridiculously hungry so I wanted some food. I chose tuna and
mayonnaise. Lots of mayonnaise. Full fat mayonnaise. Now I feel kind
of sick and I'm still not able to sleep. Crap.

Sent from my iPhone

Also...

2010-01-26T12:27:00.001+10:00

I lost 1.6kg this week! Yay! I am terribly proud of myself, but I did work very hard this week. So hard that my poor calf muscles now need a break as they are very sore :(

WW Meal awesomeness

2010-01-26T12:25:00.000+10:00

I just need to let my fellow weight watchers know that the Chicken San Choy Bau (3.5 points per serve) from the weight watchers website is awesome! Ridiculously awesome even...

100 Day Challenge - Week 3

2010-01-26T12:11:00.001+10:00

Day 15 - I went home from work due to the dreaded sinus headache today, so made up for the lost work productivity by printing out all the recipes in my 4 week repeating schedule of meals and put them in a folder so there is no need to go back and forth between the computer and the kitchen to do the cooking.

Day 16 - Stayed home today due to feeling awful and headachey. My friend Loz came over and we made cupcakes that were 4 points for 3, they were tasty and awesome and we both counted them and were proud. I didn't take a picture of the cupcakes themselves but here is the box.

Day 17 - Back at work, I had watermelon for my afternoon snack - anyone who knows me well also knows that I am not a fruit person. Having any fresh fruit is a major achievement so I'm proud of myself!

Day 18 - Home again today and feeling sorry for myself! This is my awesome bed because that is where I spent the day. Not sure that really counts as an improvement in my life but I do love my bed...

Day 19 - I know I've put the wii fit in here before, but I am addicted to this thing!

Day 20 - I'm sad to say I spent all of Saturday doing not much. But, I did babysit my friend's much younger siblings on Saturday night. And, despite being very tired, I only had cups of tea, not coffee with milk or soft drink! Yay me!

Day 21 - I have set myself a rule that I can only fill up the soft drink dispenser in the fridge on Mondays. It ran out on Saturday so I didn't get any today, but that is okay because I didn't go fishing in the pantry for more!

C25K - Week 4, workout 27 or something

2010-01-20T09:26:00.001+10:00

So it wasn't really workout 27 but we have been stuck on week 4 for a while now. The reason is that either me or Loz isn't able to go running, we get there and then don't run or power walk instead etc etc etc.

This morning I managed to conveniently sleep through my alarm, but luckily Loz rang me at 5.45am and happened to be on her bike outside my house, so we still managed to go for a run. I've got a cold at present so it was a very snotty run for me, but run we did!

Go Us!

Week 5 next week, I can feel it!

100 Day Challenge: Week 2

2010-01-18T09:23:00.001+10:00

At Weigh in this morning I lost 300g. Not a huge loss but I haven't been particularly awesome this week and I did have a brilliant loss last week. Week 3, here we come!

Day 8: I know I've done water before but this is what I was focussing on today so I'm putting it in again!

Day 9: I did a silly thing and allowed myself to get too hungry and therefore made a poor food choice. I had Japanese (could have been much worse!) which I then tracked. This is a picture of what I had (yaki soba - i had to search the internet for this!) and a reminder that allowing myself to get hungry is a bad thing.

Day 10: I am not much of a cook. This is a combination of not having any talent for it and being lazy. So, on Tuesday night, I took a quick look through my WW recipes and picked one that didn't require me to go to the supermarket, and cooked! (my plans for a month of weekly menus has been slightly delayed as my partner is away for a month and I need to re-inspire myself!). I halved the recipe so there was a meal for me last night and a meal for my lunch today. Yay!

Day 11: Orange! I am not a fruit person, not at all. I sent a copy of my daily food to my friend Loz who then ordered me out to get some fruit - so, I got some and I had fruit 3 days last week! Go me!

Day 12: I am replacing my juice and soft drink addiction (for the time being) with coke zero. So I keep a stash of it in the fridge and get to have one when I come home from work.

Day 13: This is Joanna Newsom, I went to see her perform on Saturday night and it was lovely. We took the train and then walked to the venue so I managed to get my steps up for the day and see this awesome singer - how can you not be awesome if you play a harp?

Day 14: Once again I failed to take a picture but last night I made this awesome WW recipe that left me very satisfied and it was only 4 points! The Mushroom Curry. Brilliant...

A good-ish week

2010-01-14T11:27:00.001+10:00

So far this week has been awesome. I have moved on from the 56 point day of horror and am eating well. I have cooked at home two nights in a row using WW recipes - I halved the recipes (they were for 4 and as my darling boyfriend is down in SA for work for the next few weeks it seems a waste to cook that much food) and then I have a meal and lunch for the next day. So far I've had the quick chilli con carne (which is awesome and I highly recommend it!) and last night the spaghetti carbonara which was tasty but not as tasty as the chilli con carne (seriously in love with that meal... looking forward to cooking it for my darling man when he comes home because he'll love it too!).

I have two more at home meals this week from my monthly planner and they are the mushroom curry and the chicken fried rice. I have all the required ingredients at home and am prepared to cook!

The meals on my planner for next week are:

Pasta with Tomato vodka sauce

Greek-style cheeseburgers

Angel hair pasta with eggplant sauce

frittata with herbed ricotta cheese & bacon

chicken & vegie udon noodles

I've decided it is actually a good thing that I will be trying all these recipes whilst my darling man is away as it gives me the chance to make sure they do taste good before I ask him to eat them. Also I want him to do some of the cooking (I'm really not much of a cook!) so he'll feel better about that if he likes the food!

Also, I've decided that all high-point desserts in the house (can't deny everyone desserts can I?) should be chocolate or have chocolate in them. That way I will never be tempted to eat them (I am 3 years chocolate free now and have greater will-power in resisting chocolate than I do at losing weight!). I've kept a chocolate box in the fridge for darling man for the last year and that works pretty well.

Hope everyone is having a rocking Thursday!

Wagon Repairs

2010-01-11T12:05:00.001+10:00

So, fell off the wagon a bit yesterday. Actually it was more like I crashed my wagon and now my pony is mad at me and I need to change one of the wheels...

I started fine. Ran around the back yard with kitty. Cleaned up some rotting mangoes (I despise mangoes and having a mango tree (not even Bowen mango tree either, a yucky string mango tree) in the back yard is not helping this dislike). Then, I sat on the couch and watched episodes of various TV shows on my computer. Then I got hungry and ignored it. Then I ignored it some more. Then I passed the logical thinking barrier and hunger won.

So, some mcdonalds and ice cream later, oh and a bottle of coke (normally I go for the coke zero), and I managed to notch up a lot of points yesterday. The scales were still kind at my weigh-in this morning but I didn't deserve it!

This morning I got up, fixed the broken wheel on my wagon, spoke softly to my pony and gave it some apples and now I'm trotting along the path once more. Yay!

100 Day Challenge, Week 1

2010-01-11T09:10:00.001+10:00

So, after much swirling around in the muck that occasionally infests my head, I am out and enjoying the sunshine, and so here is my first week of the 100 day challenge!

Day 1: I brought lots of low-point snack food into work with me so that I can handle those totally predictable mid morning and afternoon cravings without resorting to packets of chips or drinks of coke!

Day 2: Water, water, water. This has always been a large failing of mine. I never drink enough water. My dear BF drinks enough for the two of us! But, he has been a good influence on me and I now carry a water bottle with me wherever I go. I went through about 4 bottles of water at work on day two and became quite intimate with the toilet stalls (since I was visiting far more frequently than in the past!) but felt great.

Day 3: My at work breakfast. I love it. 2 slices multigrain bread toasted, 1/4 avocado, 2 tbs cottage cheese, 2 slices (ie. 1 serve) of the Hans country smoked ham, fresh tomato & pepper. 4.5 points.

Day 4: I had a rough afternoon on Thursday, and needed a drink. I ended up having two bottles of beer, but, being a good WW girl, I totally tracked it anyway! So, this is a picture of my online tracker counting those beers...

Day 5: My Wii fit. I am slowly falling in love with this little guy. When you're at it and sweating you're wondering why since it really isn't that hard, and then you get that muscle soreness the next day and realise how awesome the Wii fit truly is. Go Wii fit! AND go darling BF who bought me the Wii & Wii fit for my birthday in December (not totally magnanimous, he gets to play with it too!) (of course I forgot to send the photo of the wii-fit to myself so this is a photo I thieved from the internet)

Day 6: Today I took a walk at Walk-About-Creek in Brisbane Forest Park where I used to go all the time when I was a teenager as it is such a beautiful and peaceful place. I basked in the niceness of it all and remembered how much I enjoy getting out and about.

Day 7: Kitty! This is Oscar who is most wayward and naughty. He has up until now been an indoor cat, but my mother feels I am driving him insane using this method as he was born free and feral. Lately he has been playing up so I am trialing letting him out during the day (I'll never let him stay out at night though, got to protect at least some of the wildlife!), and today I followed him around and we played a few games of chase - a fun and silly way to get some exercise!

2010: The Year of Biodiversity

2010-01-05T16:13:00.001+10:00

Well, that's what the United Nations decided on. I'm going for 2010: The Year of Change.

I'm not really a resolution person, but my partner and I decided on some goals for 2010 in different areas of our life. One that ties in nicely to financial, health & weight loss goals is our decision to eat at home at least 5 nights a week. Both of us work long hours, and as a consequence we tend to be tired and lazy when we get home - so, to help with this problem which tends to leave us eating takeaway or going to the pub for dinner, I've written up a four week menu with 5 meals per week (in no particular order). All of these meals have a total combined prep and cooking time of less than 30mins & are low in points (between 4 - 8 points per serve). This way we'll shop once a week and cooking won't be such a drama.

Well, that's what I hope...

I also started taking photos yesterday for the 100 day challenge which is exciting. I started back on the weight watchers path yesterday, and I started it well by going for a C25K run! Go me!

Yay for 2010!

2009-12-10T12:14:00.001+10:00

"One of the sanest, surest and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others" -A Rutledge

I sometimes have trouble following this recommendation. Instead of praising the good fortune of others I think "why them and not me?". This tends to be mainly related to weight. Why did they end up skinny and beautiful and I am fat? Why? Why do they get to be happy and I get depression? Why? Why? Why?

Today I am going to focus on being happy for the good fortune of others, and not focussing on why I don't have what they have.

How's It Going? Wednesday...

2009-12-09T12:52:00.000+10:00

I'm doing pretty well this week. I have decided to just take it one day at a time, and so far so good. I need to do some more planning and preparing for the days ahead (start by getting low point snacks into my drawer at work), but at present I am quite enjoying planning my dinner at lunch time, getting the food on the way home and then cooking enough to take leftovers in for lunch the next day. Darling BF doesn't know it yet but I'm thinking we need to implement a day about meal plan and preparation schedule - because I don't like being solely responsible for making choices and cooking, and I now have lots of cook books with yummy healthy recipes just ripe for the making.

We discovered that my scales are a bit whacked, and will give you a different weight every time you step on them, but they only vary by a maximum of 400g so I'm not going to stress too much, and just take the first weight they pop out on a Monday morning. So long as the trend is downwards I am not too worried!

Darling BF and I have also decided we will get married in August 2011 (don't go thinking we're engaged, I don't want to be engaged for 2 years before I get married, I just wanted to know what to aim for! We'll get engaged a few months prior, I've told him I expect him down on one knee and everything). So, there are 90 weeks until 'that day' and I still have 46.5kg to lose (which averages out at 516g per week). It is achievable but will be challenging. To get myself in the swing of things I've set myself a very challenging stretch target of being under 100kg before darling BF's sister's wedding at Easter next year. That will require a loss of just over 1kg per week til then. I'm going to take the advice of Les Brown: "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

C25K Week 3 Workout 1

2009-12-07T16:01:00.001+10:00

A few weeks ago my friend Lauren asked if I would like to go running with her in the mornings. So, we decided to start C25K from the beginning. A few sleep-ins and occasionally attending partners have occured but this morning we started week 3 and at the end of the workout we were pumped to keep running so we ran around the park one more time just for good measure.

Feeling good.

I haven't been watching my food but all this running and walking is still making a difference. I stepped on the scales and have lost 1kg this week. So, I am going to eat well this week, because I feel better when I eat well. I won't allow myself to get hungry so I may go over points sometimes but for the most part I intend to eat well and properly.

That's all I have to say right now...

I will be back eventually

2009-11-23T08:47:00.001+10:00

So I've not been well lately, in the brain that is. I have decided I need to get some help and once I'm back on the path to healthy I will get back on the weight loss wagon, back on the new life wagon and start living my life as awesomely as I deserve.

I would like to join in on Linda's 100 day challenge but I will be late as I can't start when I'm not well. Hopefully I will start before 2010!

Also, thankyou Cassie, you rock!

Not in Control

2009-11-04T12:15:00.001+10:00

I'm going forwards and backwards at the moment, with weight loss and with life. I don't feel right, like everything is spiralling out of control, very slowly. I see myself as the guy from Austin Powers who gets crushed by the steam roller despite having a very long time to get out of the way. There's a breakdown on the horizon, I can see it, and if I don't start to do something soon to prevent it, it will happen. Will I really stand by and not move to protect myself when I can see the danger coming from far away?

Sorry, feeling quite introspective. Just Monday I was advising a friend to call me if she needs to talk to someone, to not let it build up until she can't let it out. I'm not taking my own advice. I feel like bottling it up, keeping it safe and all my own.

Not the most spectacular return

2009-10-29T15:54:00.001+10:00

Last week, well, the week before last I guess, I fell off the wagon in a most lazy fashion - gaining 200g at weigh in thanks to several meals out and a lack of point tracking. Then I let myself go for another week of not tracking and generally not paying attention.

Anyway, the powers that be managed to get back at me and I got sick on Saturday just gone, and spent four days not wanting to eat very much at all because I couldn't keep it down. When I finally started feeling better yesterday morning I hopped on the scales and realised that I have been given a golden opportunity to put the bad week and a half behind me as the illness has put me back where I was before I went off track - not a very good method of weight loss, but eh.

So, yesterday and today I have been awesome! And I'm going to keep on keeping on. Weigh in on Saturday.

I am going to lose my first 5% before Christmas. That's 5.9kg. I can totally do that! Wohoo!

--
A goal without a plan is just a wish

Foggy Today

2009-10-15T15:02:00.001+10:00

I've had depression for my entire adult life. It comes and goes, at times so severe I cannot function but mostly it sits in the background, a near-constant dull ache. I have numerous mechanisms for coping that have been developed from years of counseling and normally they work so well I don't end up in the depths anymore. I don't know whether my weight is a result of my depression, a cause or totally unrelated. But I do know that my depression has an impact on my weight loss. On the other hand, weight loss (more specifically the increased healthiness of my diet and increased exercise) has an excellent impact on my depression as it is less likely to rear its ugly head if I am feeling well and healthy.

I'm feeling a bit down today so I just thought I'd put some words here about it. Since moving from Townsville to Brisbane everything seems to be so hard - even little things are just the biggest dramas in the world to sort out. I feel like banging my head against the wall. My lovely friend reminded me today that there have been many awesome things happen in Brisbane as well, but at the moment I feel bogged down in the difficult and painful. I kind of want to just give up and curl in a ball and hide. I'm being melodramatic, everything that is important in my life is wonderful - I have a roof over my head, I have a good job, I have an awesome partner and my family and friends are all well and healthy. Focus on the positives. I might go spend some positive time with positive people tonight I think.

Wohoo!

2009-10-12T10:02:00.001+10:00

My first week and I lost 2.4kg! Go me! Should go back to realistic losses from this week though, but what an awesome start. I was quite chuffed - despite being in pain from the puncture marks on my hand where my cat bit me (he went a bit feral for half an hour - result: he doesn't get to go outside anymore and I had to have a tetanus shot!).

More on how it feels to be 118kg

2009-10-08T11:36:00.001+10:00

I realised that what I wrote yesterday is just a smattering of the impacts my weight has on my life. More than anything else, the mental impact of being overweight has clouded my life. I had a psychologist tell me once that he thought I was using my weight as a shield to protect myself from the world, but how can something that causes you so much suffering protect you? It has impacted on my friendships, on my relationships, on my work and on my mental health.

As a teenager you get treated pretty badly if you're overweight (I've been overweight since I was about 10 years old), and so I developed massive trust issues that are still plaguing me and I'm 27! I do believe that my weight has played a significant role in my inability to trust others (especially men), and also in my depression which I have suffered from since I was a teenager - although it reached a peak in my early twenties.

For the first time in my life right now I trust my partner totally and completely and it is wonderful. He loves me the way I am, but is totally supportive of me losing weight because he knows it is what I want, and that I won't ever be completely happy with my body the way it is. I am ridiculously lucky to have him in my life and I am astonished nearly every day that we found each other - I always thought I'd be that crazy friend with all the cats who shows up to events alone and has a freezer full of dead toads. Or something like that. Luckily, cat lady is fading into the background hopefully never to be revived!

Anyway, I just wanted to try to explain that the mental impact of my weight has had so much more of an influence on my life and I just don't want that anymore!

How it feels to be 118kg

2009-10-07T09:50:00.001+10:00

Jody has an excellent post talking about how it feels to be her current weight and I was inspired so am totally copying her idea and am now going to write about how it feels to be 118kg.

Clothes shopping is a nightmare - clothes in my size (which I am not even sure of) are either giant sacks of ugly or hideously expensive. Shopping in normal clothing stores simply isn't an option. My friends occasionally have clothes swaps, I cannot attend because I'm the only one who is my size.

On the aeroplane you sort of seep into your neighbour's seat, and it is incredibly uncomfortable. You see the look of horror in your neighbour's eyes when they realise they are sitting next to the fat person, because it means that their flying experience is going to be difficult as well. I generally stand on the train because when I get on the only seats left are next to people, and I don't really fit very well into one seat.

At the supermarket, every item that goes in your trolley is scrutinized by others - healthy or unhealthy. If people know you're trying to lose weight then they question everything you put in your mouth, "are you allowed to have that?" or "I thought you were on a diet?". It is humiliating.

I have reflux, mainly due to my weight, I don't sleep well - I have sleep apneoa and that means I don't end up having deep sleep since I wake up every few minutes (sort of) in order to start breathing again. Lack of decent sleep tends to make me feel lathargic and generally crap. Every health problem I have the doctor blames on my weight - and until I lose it they simply won't believe that it has any other cause. Well, it feels that way.

When it comes to weekend events, my friends like to play sport but I can only play for a short while before having to sit on the sideline. It is hard to squeeze three people on a back seat if I am one of them. I try to hide from group photos because I am always twice the size of the others.

I can't think of anything else at the moment, but here are some things about being 118kg that I really don't like.

The Last Word (hopefully) on the Gym Drama

2009-10-06T14:02:00.001+10:00

So... I read all about other peoples experiences with this common gym franchise today and it seems that numerous people have had the same problem as me with them refusing to cancel and being generally unhelpful. The useful piece of advice I got today was to keep hold of my cancellation paperwork as they frequently keep charging you after your cancellation date and you'll need evidence of cancellation to get the charges reversed by your bank. Sigh.

I've been having a laugh at myself today (and a bit yesterday) thinking about how I picture anger. When I feel angry I literally picture boiling blood (as in the saying "makes my blood boil"), and I sometimes also picture it as bubbling in my veins. I often picture feelings, sorry if I'm weirding anyone out. Anyway, yesterday, I decided that the best way to calm me down was to take the pot off the boil - so I pictured taking my pot of boiling blood off the heat, and watching as the bubbles decreased until there were none and all I could see was steam, and immediately I felt better. It was like choosing to cool down as opposed to waiting to cool down. Made me laugh.

Awesome

2009-10-05T20:18:00.000+10:00

Last night I had friends over for dinner (rice paper rolls) and there
were lots of left over chopped up vegies which meant no chopping
tonight and dinner was so fast! For someone who finds cooking a chore
this was excellent.

Grrr...

2009-10-05T16:58:00.001+10:00

I know I'm being melodramatic, but I am cranky so I want to vent and I have decided that my blog is the best place to do that!

A few weeks ago (actually, in August), I (stupidly) joined a gym near my work. It is a large chain gym. I thought I could go before work and it would be good. Unfortunately I didn't, and I don't want to be going to a gym at the moment, I want to focus on my C25K running and getting started with WW - I may join a gym again down the track but definitely not this one.

I went in last week to cancel - I need to give them 4 weeks notice you see. I couldn't because the "Customer Service Officer" wasn't there, and wouldn't be until next week. So, I went in today to cancel. Oh no, the "Customer Service Officer" still wasn't there but I could make an appointment. At this point I got a bit frustrated and asked why she couldn't do it. Anyone who knows me will know that I don't raise my voice, I don't shout, I don't get angry - to the point where I don't actually know how to behave in an argument! This lady then started ranting at me, telling me to not get angry, that it wasn't her fault and that she didn't like my tone. I rolled my eyes - for crying out loud she was acting as if I was shouting and screaming (which I most certainly wasn't). Then she ranted about me rolling my eyes. Next thing you know she pulls out the paperwork and right there in front of me cancels my membership. I have the signed form to prove it.

So, in order to cancel my membership I had to be a pain. They wanted me to see the "Customer Service Officer" whose role was probably to convince me that I didn't need to quit, what I needed to do was give them more money and sign up for a year long contract. Apparently there are facebook groups dedicated to how much they hate this gym and horror stories about getting out of memberships.

I'm really angry about this - but more so I am angry that this woman got so upset as if I were the most awful customer on the planet and how could I possibly be so rude! I worked at restaurants that catered to the multitude when I was at uni - I copped a great deal more than a frustrated question and a roll of the eyes. The reason I'm upset is because I feel guilty for being that customer, because I feel for the poor students who have to put up with that behaviour, and I shouldn't feel guilty because she was extremely unhelpful and I wasn't angry or rude.

I probably could have handled the whole situation a lot better I know, but it is done, I'm out of that useless drain on my finances and I can focus solely and completely on getting healthy and not feeling guilty for wasting money for a bad service I didn't use.

C25K Week 1

2009-10-05T09:41:00.001+10:00

I got out of bed early this morning (first time in a while, I'm loving not starting work til 8am!) and put on clothes I haven't worn in a while. I opened up the new C25K ap on my iphone and added some music to play in the background. Then I went for my first workout! I feel good, on track and very, very positive!

As I learned a year ago, the greatest motivator is actually doing exercise!!

I loved the quote from the meeting this week "A goal without a plan is just a wish". Excellent motto.

And I'm Back

2009-10-03T17:38:00.002+10:00

So, weigh in today. I've regained all bar 0.4kg that I lost. Timely reminder I suppose.

Today has been challenging because I need to keep reminding myself that I have to stick to points, that I cannot deviate from the plan, not until I am back into the swing of things. This week at least, I am going to have the same breakfast and lunch and only vary with dinner - I like structure, it makes my life easier! And water, lots of water.

Sorry, this post is a bit rambling, I'm amazingly sleepy! I am using the free wifi at maccas and resisting the deep fried scents is a bit challenging. I am going to go home and have some more water!

First week, here I come!

A Last Hurrah? Seriously, was that necessary?

2009-09-30T14:38:00.001+10:00

Last night I chose to follow my traditional path of self-sabotage. I justified it by saying "it's a last hurrah! One last enjoyment before going healthy!". Not cool, not cool. I ate a whole litre of ice cream! Ugh! Corn chips, brie & ice cream. Sigh. And then I sat up until nearly 1am again so didn't get up and go for a walk or a jog this morning.

I'm not giving up, just being honest here if nowhere else. I have rocket, haloumi, mushrooms and avocado for dinner which I am looking forward to. That and an early night, I am so insanely tired! (No pity required, own fault).

I didn't have a great breakfast but I had an awesome lunch so will be doing fine for my first weigh-in back on Saturday. So. Excited!

How did I manage to leave this so long?

2009-09-29T13:04:00.001+10:00

I lost the plot back in January really. Then I had no motivation. Then work got very stressful. Then I had to prepare to move cities. Then I needed to feel settled before I could do anything.

Well. I'm here, I'm settled, I'm (mostly) unpacked and moved in, and I'm all out of excuses. I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want to be awake all day! I want to not puff walking up my not very steep street. I want to fit into aeroplane seats, be able to wear the women's style work clothing (currently the work shirts don't come in my size), not get raised eyebrows if I have something sweet, be able to play sport, and in the next couple of years I will probably get married and I don't want to walk down the aisle as a size 24.

I remember how awesome I felt when I was losing weight. I looked better, slept better, was in a better mood! Why on earth would I not want that again? What would possess me to go back to being tired, lacklustre, unexcited and grumpy?

I go back to weigh in on Saturday. I'm not nervous, I'm excited! I get to start being healthy again!!! Fresh city, fresh house, fresh start.

Not a loss but I am not deterred

2009-04-21T09:05:00.000+10:00

I weighed in 100g heavier than last time I went to weight watchers. This is okay. It is a mild hurdle on the path back to weight loss glory!
The comiseration KFC on the way home however was not a good idea. I even felt sick after I ate it. I really need to learn how to deal with disappointment without turning to greasy, fatty food.

Back on the wagon this morning, putting last night behind me.

The Danger Zone

2009-04-18T09:16:00.002+10:00

I allowed myself to enter the danger zone last night. I was so incredibly hungry that the moment there was food in front of me I ate and ate. Alas the food in front of me was hot chips and chicken wings. Hmm.. Not a disaster of unbelievable proportions but a timely reminder that I have to listen to my body a bit more closely and not put off dinner until I cannot control myself.

Feeling the energy, feeling the motivation!

2009-04-17T13:19:00.000+10:00

I wrote a plan on Monday night. I ate a good breakfast Tuesday morning (lucky me had an RDO the day after Easter Monday), then went grocery shopping for the week. Now it is Friday and I have been on track, healthy and good for three whole days. I feel great! I am proud of myself. It has been three months since I was properly following weight watchers but now I am planning and I am tracking and as I said, I am very proud of myself.

Internet, I just wanted to let you know that I feel great!

Tagged

2009-03-30T12:16:00.005+10:00

I was tagged by Lisa (a while ago - I'm slack!), so here goes:

1. List these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog.
3. Tell 7 unspectacular quirks about you.
4. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
5.Link the person who tagged you.
6.Leave a comment for each blogger.

It could be nice if you post a personal photo with this post.

7 Facts About ME:
1. I have three brothers and one niece
2. I have a cat called Oscar who I am currently trying to train not to bite
3. I have two degrees (one in civil engineering and one in Arts (Ancient History))
4. I have been around the world twice but still have a ridiculous amount of things to see
5. I collect tea pots
6. I went to 7 different primary schools, 1 high school and two universities
7. I now work for the same company that brought my father to Australia from NZ when I was just born

7 Unspectacular Quirks about ME:
1. I tend to straighten things - I'm not particularly tidy but things need to be ordered
2. I drink my coffee white with two sugars and my tea black with none.
3. I get posessive of my stationery at work and tend to name it all
4. I hate doing the dishes
5. I don't own a television and haven't done for 4 years
6. I am easily distracted when there is a television in the room (since its a novelty to me)
7. I like to write letters - proper letters, on paper.

I don't know too many people in the blogosphere of weight loss just yet so I'll refrain from tagging anyone for now!

A Loss!

2009-03-11T08:46:00.003+10:00

After a week back on track I feel brilliant! I've lost 1.3kg (that's the 800g I gained and another 500g lost! wohoo!), I am running and I'm feeling good. I tracked everything and although I still need a lot of work on the eating filling foods side I am really proud of myself.

I went for my first bike ride in about a decade this week. The darling BF bought me a second hand bike so that I could ride beside him while he runs (he's not been getting much of a workout running with me, more like a stroll in the park for him). Biking is sneaky exercise... you think you're not putting much effort in and then you hop off and your thighs hurt and your butt hurts! I liked it. Some friends of mine have just gotten roller skates so I am going to ride with them along the strand (beautiful spot up here in Townsville).

Off to Brisbane for 5 days tonight so will have to be extra focussed as I am only 300g off my 10% mark! Ahhh!

And I'm back...

2009-03-03T11:46:00.002+10:00

So, it's taken a bit longer than planned, but I am back. I went back to my meeting last night and I'm eating my points again as of yesterday. I had gained 800g through my insane couple of months of this year but that is okay as I am going to lose it again and more!

My first goal is to stick to it this week. I don't have to lose all that 800g in one week, I just need to stick to the plan. I've been keeping up my C25K somewhat as well - I'm on week 4 now, 3rd workout this morning but I'm not quite ready for week 5 just yet so I'll keep with week 4 a little longer.

I'm back and my motivation is seeping back through me - it is an amazing feeling! It's funny but the last straw was Sunday just gone - I had a very bad food day (despite having gotten up and gone running that morning). I ate so much crap that day - my major downfall being those yum cha kits from the frozen section at the supermarket. I woke up Monday with what I can only describe as a food hangover and decided that enough was enough.

I have a goal and I'm going to make it there!

Off the Wagon & Flailing on the ground

2009-02-04T07:43:00.003+10:00

After the utter joy and excitement of reaching my 10kg goal, I have fallen apart at the seams. I had a bad couple of weeks personally (I lost my Grandmother who had been ill for a long time, and then became extremely stressed at work) and this has translated into my life as a loss of interest in looking after my health, eating properly or really caring about anything. I have not gone to weigh in since the 19th January because I was too scared to go back and have a gain.

The flooding in Townsville hasn't helped much either. It is hard to feel inspired to get out of bed and go running when the rain is thundering down and the ground is not so much hard as slushy.

This needs to stop. I have started looking in the mirror and thinking how ugly and fat I am. I am feeling bad about myself and my life and I don't like it! When I was losing weight I felt marvellous and even though I am still fat I didn't look at myself and feel nothing but disgust!

I have started tracking again this morning. I am not going to allow these last few weeks to cause me to stop trying. I expect my next weigh in to be unpleasant but I will still be going. Wish me luck!

Not the best week on record...

2009-01-12T10:03:00.002+10:00

I didn't have my greatest week. I am somewhat nervous about my weigh-in this evening. I gave in to every urge and craving instantaneously. I was then getting upset at myself and the whole cycle kicked in. It was terrible!

After much self-evaluation I decided that the reason I was not in control of my brain so much was because other areas of my life were out of control. I have always worn my weight as a protective barrier, so as soon as things seem to be getting stressful or out of control I snap back into old protective habits. Work has been very stressful since coming back after the holidays - mainly because I didn't feel in control of the situations and was just being buffeted from drama to drama. So, before the end of the week I sorted out my desk, wrote my to-do list and went and badgered everyone into telling me what needed doing next week. So, I feel better about work. Then this weekend I did a massive house clean-up. I went through my wardrobe and threw out half the clothes (I still had stuff from the early 90's in there...) and cleaned up all the mess my kitten has made this week that I was too lazy to get to (he found a roll of paper towel. It was everywhere).

A clean house and an organised work front and I feel in control again. Seems silly that such a small thing can have a huge impact on my weight loss.

Anyway, went for workout 1 of week 3 C25K this morning and it was great! I ran for three minutes straight, not once but twice! Wohoo! It's funny to think that a mere few weeks ago I felt like keeling over the first time I ran and already I'm doing so much better. I am loving C25K.

Fingers crossed for my weigh in tonight!

C25K - Week 2, Workout 1

2009-01-05T12:34:00.002+10:00

I had a disgraceful Christmas. I didn't count points, I ate all sorts of "do not eat" foods and I was generally lazy. One thing that did keep me working hard though was I still went running! I repeated week 1 of C25K so that my mother could join me, then, all set to start week 2 and I got shingles.

Shingles sucks. It is painful and sore constantly, you can't exercise and sleeping is all you want to do but is difficult because of the pain. Stupid shingles. So, I spent from Boxing Day til the 2nd January feeling sorry for myself. I did a week 1 workout on Saturday, decided I hadn't lost too much running prowess so did week 2 this morning. It was challenging but I got there.

I have my first weigh in since the 15th December this evening. I am hoping, hoping, hoping that I have just not gained! Fingers crossed.

Happy 2009, this is the year to be in!

C25K - Week 1, Workout 2

2008-12-17T09:03:00.002+10:00

Morning all!

I'm feeling pretty darn good right now - I think the endorphins are starting to kick in. Alas, the workout this morning was much harder than Monday, even though it was the same one! It's as if my body has just clued in to what I'm doing and is putting up a fight. I am totally going to win though, oh yes I am.

I will probably repeat week one next week when I'm in Brisbane (going home for the Christmas holiday) and I think I'll drag my mother out with me... she'll do it. Oh yes she will...).

Running on grass is a good idea, luckily for me there is a running track round the corner from my place. I don't think that my knees could handle the impact otherwise.

Have a lovely Wednesday!

Fat Photo

2008-12-16T12:51:00.002+10:00

Someone put a photo of me at my high school reunion up on Facebook. Luckily she didn't tag me as I probably would have untagged it out of utter shame!

That was the first time in years that I have worn a dress without sleeves and now I'm too horrified to wear it again without a top on over it!

If I needed reminding why I am doing this, this is it!

C25K - Week 1, workout 1

2008-12-15T07:39:00.002+10:00

So, I did my first workout this morning - having gone shopping for a decent sports bra over the weekend, very important when running!

I had a brisk 5 minute walk to warm up, then alternated 60 seconds of jogging with 90 seconds of walking for 20 minutes. Luckily for me the dear BF came along to be my timer and run along next to me (not getting anywhere as puffed as I did, darned boy).

It was challenging but I feel good now. I didn't feel overly pressed, and although I was puffing hard by the end I wasn't overcome with exhaustion.

A good start I think.

Couch to 5km

2008-12-11T12:54:00.002+10:00

My exercise has completely stalled in the last few weeks. I've been overwhelmed with so many things to do that I just let it drop off. This is a problem...

So, I looked around for something that has a set of goals and a timeframe in which to achieve them. One of the things I've learned in the last four years with my company is that if you're setting yourself a goal it needs to be a SMART goal.

S - Specific
M - Measureable
A - Achievable
R - Realistic
T - Time Constrained

So, I am going to have a crack at the Couch to 5km 9 week programme - it is designed to start small and build up to running 5km in a 9 week timeframe. And it only takes up 30mins 3 times a week so I can't say I don't have time.

Specific - I want to be able to run 5km after 9 weeks
Measureable - well, 5km
Achievable - It starts very small, however they do say that if it advances too quickly you should scale it back and take longer. I think it is achievable though.
Realistic - I'm not attempting a marathon here
Time Constrained - 9 Weeks.

So, I'm going to make sure I've done all the research, then, from Sunday the 14th December I will have 9 weeks to train. Wish me luck!

Nearing 27

2008-12-10T13:00:00.002+10:00

In three days time I will be 27 years old. I weigh less now than I did when I turned 26 but not by much. By the time I reach 28 I want to weigh less than I did when I turned 20, if not 18 (which would have been about 95kg I think, memory is getting a bit fuzzy).

I have been a bit lax in the last couple of weeks but starting again today am feeling refreshed and energetic about the future.

I have lost 7.9kg in 8 weeks. That is an amazing effort and I have never had so much success in weight loss before in my life. I am not going to stop there. I'm not done yet.

My colleagues all know that I am losing weight and over the last week or so (while I've been less diligent than usual) several of them have told me that it is becoming quite noticeable that I am shrinking. This is very exciting.

Of course, I hugged my boyfriend this morning and caught a glimpse of us in the mirror, skinny him and fat me. It freaked me out a bit. Good reason to keep losing!

A New Charm

2008-11-20T12:20:00.002+10:00

I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but as an added incentive to continue losing weight, my friend and I decided we would get a charm every time we real a goal (whether that be a weight loss goal, a measurement loss, an exercise goal etc.).

Since I achieved my first goal I have now bought myself a new charm. I was slightly concerned that I had only reached goal because I'd been so sick - 2.2kg is a lot to lose in one week after all. Then at weigh in this week I'd lost another 0.6kg which brings me to 5.7kg down (wohoo!). So, I bought a charm. I haven't received it yet, I got it online, it is a tea cup - I'm a teapot & tea cup nut, I know, I am a nerd.

I am so happy!

First Goal!

2008-11-11T13:06:00.002+10:00

I am terribly excited as I made my first goal at weigh in last night. I am now 5kg lighter than when I started! This is marvellous motivation to continue. I've been sick for nearly a week and yesterday all I wanted was KFC, food dripping with horrible horrible fat. I weighed in and suddenly that was the last thing that I wanted because success is so inspiring that now I want even more success!

Yay me!

Sick

2008-11-08T12:41:00.003+10:00

I am sick and have been for three days now. This is a particularly horrible version of the flu and I suspect may be turning into a middle ear infection. I am highly emotional today, I want to cry and what I really want is to go home and get a hug from my Mother. I am 26 years old and you'd think I'd be capable of looking after myself by now. Turns out no, I'm not.

How this relates to my weight loss:

I don't want to eat all day
When I do eat, I make poor food choices
I am emotion eating - choosing ice cream, and way more than is healthy
I do not want to exercise (although it may not be a good idea to exercise when sick anyway)

Hopefully I will start to feel better soon as I don't want to undo all my hard work of the last month.

Points, Points, Points

2008-11-03T20:32:00.002+10:00

I need to use all of my points. I have consistently only been using between 19 & 21 of my points when I have 24. So, my goal for the next week is to use 24 points exactly on each day. I have lost every week so far, however I want to keep losing every week!

Nothing else to say really, except I'm doing okay.

Stereotypes of Women

2008-10-31T12:29:00.005+10:00

Something I think about often is the connection between weight and beauty, and also about what is considered beautiful, and by that I mean what aspects of you go towards making you beautiful.

One of my favourite rant topics is about the stereotyping of women, especially those who work. My regular argument goes that you can be one of the following and that is all:

a working woman who doesn't want children & therefore a cold, mean, cruel bitch. Lives only for career and will screw you over to get ahead.
a working woman who eventually wants children & therefore to be pitied if she has no husband, or no career prospects as she's just waiting to quit when baby comes along
a working woman who has children. Now, there are two stereotypes here, she's either the mother who wants to stay home but has to work and is therefore kind, caring, loving and to be pitied; or, she wants to work and is therefore cold, cruel hearted and a bitch.

You may wonder what I'm getting at with this, and I apologise if this post is a bit rambling and unclear. I just get frustrated that I have to fit into one of these categories when none suit me. At the moment, I have no children and no plans for children. That doesn't make me heartless. My mother thinks that I am too harsh on my society, and that I am the only one who sees things as this black and white and unfair.

I don't really have a point to make today. I'm just whinging really. I like my job, I like working, I like the achievement. If I ever do have children, I don't think I would be selfish to decide to continue with my career. This is just bothering me today for some reason.

Virtual Me

2008-10-29T12:09:00.003+10:00

I created a virtual me to show how I expect to change as I move from now to goal. I was highly amused by it so I thought I'd post it here.

A Start

2008-10-28T12:25:00.007+10:00

A few weeks ago I had a shock. I realised that I am wasting my youth, and possibly cursing myself to a lifetime of illness including diabetes, heart disease and sleep apnea. All because of my weight. I am 26 years old and have been overweight since I was about 10 years old.

I joined Weight Watchers on the 13th October 2008. I had a starting weight of 119kg. My goal weight is 70kg. Although I have tried dieting before it has always ended in me eventually giving up. I don't have that option anymore. This is going to take a long time, this is going to mean changing my entire lifestyle.

Here are my starting photos, and my starting measurements:

Wish me luck.