Off the Wagon & Flailing on the ground

After the utter joy and excitement of reaching my 10kg goal, I have fallen apart at the seams. I had a bad couple of weeks personally (I lost my Grandmother who had been ill for a long time, and then became extremely stressed at work) and this has translated into my life as a loss of interest in looking after my health, eating properly or really caring about anything. I have not gone to weigh in since the 19th January because I was too scared to go back and have a gain.

The flooding in Townsville hasn't helped much either. It is hard to feel inspired to get out of bed and go running when the rain is thundering down and the ground is not so much hard as slushy.

This needs to stop. I have started looking in the mirror and thinking how ugly and fat I am. I am feeling bad about myself and my life and I don't like it! When I was losing weight I felt marvellous and even though I am still fat I didn't look at myself and feel nothing but disgust!

I have started tracking again this morning. I am not going to allow these last few weeks to cause me to stop trying. I expect my next weigh in to be unpleasant but I will still be going. Wish me luck!

Not the best week on record...

I didn't have my greatest week. I am somewhat nervous about my weigh-in this evening. I gave in to every urge and craving instantaneously. I was then getting upset at myself and the whole cycle kicked in. It was terrible!

After much self-evaluation I decided that the reason I was not in control of my brain so much was because other areas of my life were out of control. I have always worn my weight as a protective barrier, so as soon as things seem to be getting stressful or out of control I snap back into old protective habits. Work has been very stressful since coming back after the holidays - mainly because I didn't feel in control of the situations and was just being buffeted from drama to drama. So, before the end of the week I sorted out my desk, wrote my to-do list and went and badgered everyone into telling me what needed doing next week. So, I feel better about work. Then this weekend I did a massive house clean-up. I went through my wardrobe and threw out half the clothes (I still had stuff from the early 90's in there...) and cleaned up all the mess my kitten has made this week that I was too lazy to get to (he found a roll of paper towel. It was everywhere).

A clean house and an organised work front and I feel in control again. Seems silly that such a small thing can have a huge impact on my weight loss.

Anyway, went for workout 1 of week 3 C25K this morning and it was great! I ran for three minutes straight, not once but twice! Wohoo! It's funny to think that a mere few weeks ago I felt like keeling over the first time I ran and already I'm doing so much better. I am loving C25K.

Fingers crossed for my weigh in tonight!

C25K - Week 2, Workout 1

I had a disgraceful Christmas. I didn't count points, I ate all sorts of "do not eat" foods and I was generally lazy. One thing that did keep me working hard though was I still went running! I repeated week 1 of C25K so that my mother could join me, then, all set to start week 2 and I got shingles.

Shingles sucks. It is painful and sore constantly, you can't exercise and sleeping is all you want to do but is difficult because of the pain. Stupid shingles. So, I spent from Boxing Day til the 2nd January feeling sorry for myself. I did a week 1 workout on Saturday, decided I hadn't lost too much running prowess so did week 2 this morning. It was challenging but I got there.

I have my first weigh in since the 15th December this evening. I am hoping, hoping, hoping that I have just not gained! Fingers crossed.

Happy 2009, this is the year to be in!

C25K - Week 1, Workout 2

Morning all!

I'm feeling pretty darn good right now - I think the endorphins are starting to kick in. Alas, the workout this morning was much harder than Monday, even though it was the same one! It's as if my body has just clued in to what I'm doing and is putting up a fight. I am totally going to win though, oh yes I am.

I will probably repeat week one next week when I'm in Brisbane (going home for the Christmas holiday) and I think I'll drag my mother out with me... she'll do it. Oh yes she will...).

Running on grass is a good idea, luckily for me there is a running track round the corner from my place. I don't think that my knees could handle the impact otherwise.

Have a lovely Wednesday!

Fat Photo

Someone put a photo of me at my high school reunion up on Facebook. Luckily she didn't tag me as I probably would have untagged it out of utter shame!

That was the first time in years that I have worn a dress without sleeves and now I'm too horrified to wear it again without a top on over it!

If I needed reminding why I am doing this, this is it!

C25K - Week 1, workout 1

So, I did my first workout this morning - having gone shopping for a decent sports bra over the weekend, very important when running!

I had a brisk 5 minute walk to warm up, then alternated 60 seconds of jogging with 90 seconds of walking for 20 minutes. Luckily for me the dear BF came along to be my timer and run along next to me (not getting anywhere as puffed as I did, darned boy).

It was challenging but I feel good now. I didn't feel overly pressed, and although I was puffing hard by the end I wasn't overcome with exhaustion.

A good start I think.

Couch to 5km

My exercise has completely stalled in the last few weeks. I've been overwhelmed with so many things to do that I just let it drop off. This is a problem...

So, I looked around for something that has a set of goals and a timeframe in which to achieve them. One of the things I've learned in the last four years with my company is that if you're setting yourself a goal it needs to be a SMART goal.

S - Specific
M - Measureable
A - Achievable
R - Realistic
T - Time Constrained

So, I am going to have a crack at the Couch to 5km 9 week programme - it is designed to start small and build up to running 5km in a 9 week timeframe. And it only takes up 30mins 3 times a week so I can't say I don't have time.

Specific - I want to be able to run 5km after 9 weeks
Measureable - well, 5km
Achievable - It starts very small, however they do say that if it advances too quickly you should scale it back and take longer. I think it is achievable though.
Realistic - I'm not attempting a marathon here
Time Constrained - 9 Weeks.

So, I'm going to make sure I've done all the research, then, from Sunday the 14th December I will have 9 weeks to train. Wish me luck!