After the utter joy and excitement of reaching my 10kg goal, I have fallen apart at the seams. I had a bad couple of weeks personally (I lost my Grandmother who had been ill for a long time, and then became extremely stressed at work) and this has translated into my life as a loss of interest in looking after my health, eating properly or really caring about anything. I have not gone to weigh in since the 19th January because I was too scared to go back and have a gain.
The flooding in Townsville hasn't helped much either. It is hard to feel inspired to get out of bed and go running when the rain is thundering down and the ground is not so much hard as slushy.
This needs to stop. I have started looking in the mirror and thinking how ugly and fat I am. I am feeling bad about myself and my life and I don't like it! When I was losing weight I felt marvellous and even though I am still fat I didn't look at myself and feel nothing but disgust!
I have started tracking again this morning. I am not going to allow these last few weeks to cause me to stop trying. I expect my next weigh in to be unpleasant but I will still be going. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
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