A Last Hurrah? Seriously, was that necessary?

Last night I chose to follow my traditional path of self-sabotage. I justified it by saying "it's a last hurrah! One last enjoyment before going healthy!". Not cool, not cool. I ate a whole litre of ice cream! Ugh! Corn chips, brie & ice cream. Sigh. And then I sat up until nearly 1am again so didn't get up and go for a walk or a jog this morning.

 

I'm not giving up, just being honest here if nowhere else. I have rocket, haloumi, mushrooms and avocado for dinner which I am looking forward to. That and an early night, I am so insanely tired! (No pity required, own fault).

 

I didn't have a great breakfast but I had an awesome lunch so will be doing fine for my first weigh-in back on Saturday. So. Excited!

How did I manage to leave this so long?

I lost the plot back in January really. Then I had no motivation. Then work got very stressful. Then I had to prepare to move cities. Then I needed to feel settled before I could do anything.

 

Well. I'm here, I'm settled, I'm (mostly) unpacked and moved in, and I'm all out of excuses. I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want to be awake all day! I want to not puff walking up my not very steep street. I want to fit into aeroplane seats, be able to wear the women's style work clothing (currently the work shirts don't come in my size), not get raised eyebrows if I have something sweet, be able to play sport, and in the next couple of years I will probably get married and I don't want to walk down the aisle as a size 24.

 

I remember how awesome I felt when I was losing weight. I looked better, slept better, was in a better mood! Why on earth would I not want that again? What would possess me to go back to being tired, lacklustre, unexcited and grumpy?

 

I go back to weigh in on Saturday. I'm not nervous, I'm excited! I get to start being healthy again!!! Fresh city, fresh house, fresh start.