Photos - 9.4kg down

So, I'm jumping the gun a little but here are photos from this morning, 9.4kg lighter than when I started. My photographer was my darling boyfriend - credit where credit is due!

Day 117 of 2010

Good afternoon people of the internet. Mostly people. Some robots. Good afternoon to you too robots of the internet!

I'm in a pretty good mood today because I lost 800g at my weigh in yesterday morning! Wohoo! So I am down to 109.6kg. I am 400g higher than the lowest I've been this year (109.2kg on the 29th March), and 2.2kg higher than the lowest I've made it to on this now long journey (107.4kg on 9th March 2009).

I went to a Body Step class yesterday morning and it was awesome. I was completely exhausted about 15 minutes into it, but managed to keep going to the end. There is another one next Monday (another public holiday for us Queenslanders) so I'll go to that one and see if I can improve! Unfortunately there isn't a Body Step class at a time I can regularly attend so I won't be making this part of my routine. I'm sticking with the Body Pump class though, I love it!

I am going to put photos up this week, I just need to take some. I will endeavour to take some tonight!

Have an awesome Tuesday everyone!

Attack Cow

http://oddlyspecific.com/2010/04/16/funny-signs-any-udder-warnings/

I think I need to become an attack cow. Or at least have one to attack the bad foods when they come near me... I'll name her Tinkerbell.

After several weeks of off-the-rails crazy I am back on the wagon this week. I really need to remember the benefits and get my headspace right again. I'm sicking of weight-loss failures. I'm reading for some weight-loss wins!

Consequences

I read a blog today that talked about consequences. And it led me to think about the consequences of me not following through and losing weight. So, here are some of the consequences I would face:

• heart disease at a young age. I am 28 now, I don't want to have a heart attack at 40.
• sleep apnea. I already have this, and it will not go away until I lose weight - in fact it will just get worse, to the point where I will not be able to sleep without a machine pushing air through my nose at night.
• diabetes. how much longer can I keep serious illness such as diabetes at bay? My boyfriend's brother has diabetes (childhood, not weight related) and it has a huge impact on his life. I don't want that, not when I can avoid it by simply losing weight.
• if I am this weight when I have children, I won't be able to play with them the way I want to, and even worse, I may not be around to watch them grow up.

There are more, a lot more. I sometimes wonder if food is a bit like a drug addiction for me. When I fall off the wagon, I really fall. I eat more than I ate before, and worse. I repress the part of my brain that is objecting to this behaviour. I don't really understand how addiction works, but it really is all-encompassing when that is all you can think about.

 

I need to be negative sometimes, focus on the negatives of failure rather than the positives of success. I need that fear to motivate me as well as the expected joy of the future. It may not work for everyone, but this works for me.

 

I'm going to post photos next week, I probably won't have lost 10kg yet (after the excesses of the last couple of weeks) but I want to post more, it is about time!

 

Sarah

Wednesday, 14th April 2010

Today is my 10,349th day alive. I am 122 days out from my 28th birthday, and 243 days away from my 29th. I am also 500 days away from my wedding (that date is a bit rough but it will be around then).

 

Just giving myself some perspective here! Last night I went shopping and bought enough food to last me all week. I have a meal plan for the week. This morning I went to the gym and then at work I had my favourite breakfast (toast with avocado, cottage cheese, ham & tomato). I feel pretty awesome. I want to remember this awesome feeling and keep that up for the rest of this week.

 

I am aiming to stick to my plan every day this week, I want to drink 2L of water a day, and I want to go to the gym at least 3 times (2 to go minimum!).

 

That is my goal for this week.

 

Why am I doing this?

http://blackandwtf.tumblr.com/post/515516679

 

Weekend before last I went to Cairns with my partner to attend his sister's wedding. I decided to not be too fastidious in pursuit of my weight loss whilst there. Turns out that was a very poor decision to have made.

 

I don't know why I go off the rails, what little switch turns off in my head that causes me to suppress my desire to lose weight (and it is a very strong desire - because I desire to gain the self-confidence and self-love that I know is being held back by the weight) and ignore my inner-brain guide to doing well and eat ice cream, pizza, biscuits etc etc etc...

 

Needless to say I've not had the best fortnight. I am too scared to hop on the scales and view the damage. I'll leave that for next Monday I think.

 

I'm writing a meal plan right now - planning is the absolute best way for me to stick to weight watchers. Plan plan plan! Fight my way through the cravings I'll have this week and focus on what I want.